Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte
- If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
- If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
- If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
- If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
- If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
- If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
- If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
- If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
- If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
- If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
- If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
- If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
- If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
- If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
- If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
- If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
- If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
- If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselvesand in those about them.
- If children live with friendliness, they learn the worldis a nice place in which to live.
Excerpted from the book CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE
©1998 by Dorothy Law Nolte and Rachel Harris
The poem “Children Learn What They Live”
© Dorothy Law Nolte
Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., New York
All Rights Reserved
Parenting and Self Help Books
**Prices are list prices. To save money check for used or paperback editions.
The New First Three Years of Life
by Burton White PhD; 1995, Simon and Schuster Press, paperback, $14.00
Excellent information on parenting the crucial first 3 years based on and by
explaining child development. My personal favorite. Starting off right from
birth to 3 can make such a difference now and later!
Assertive Discipline For Parents, Revised edition, by Lee Canter with
Marlene Canter, (authors of Homework Without Tears) 1993, Perennial Library
press, paperback, $13 One of the best book for parents who too often give in and need help setting
firm, not harsh, limits. Excellent for all parents. And it’s concise!
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline For Children 2-12 by Thomas Phelan PhD;
2003, paperback, Parentmagic press, $14.95 Straightforward parenting to avoid power struggles and excess talking and
arguments. “Counting” using 2 cues and then action. Great use of simple
behavior charts and effective praise and rewards.
Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley PhD, 2000, Guilford Press,
paperback, $18.95
The best book on all aspects of ADHD including school and parenting.
Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline MD and Jim Fay; 1990,
Navpress Books, hardcover, $21.00 (Their second book covers Teens)
This book emphasizes helping parents properly shift “the problem” to the child
and not take the situation personally. I particularly like how they help
parents detach from power struggles and not let their own issues get in the way.
The Introvert Advantage: How To Survive In An Extrovert World by Marti Olsen
Laney Psy.D: paperback, 2002, $14.95
A different perspective favoring the shy, low key, and non-socialites. Written
to build self esteem, understanding, and see the advantages.
10 Secrets for Raising Sensible, Successful Kids by Kevin Leman PhD,
paperback, 2003, Tyndale House Publisher
One of multi books by this local Adlerian therapist who emphasizes birth order
and traditional family values with a clever and humorous style.
Your Defiant Childby Russell Barkley PhD, 1998, Guilford Press, paperback,
$15.95
Excellent at helping parents disengage from power struggles and rebuilding a
pleasant and productive relationship. Your Defiant Teen by Russell Barkley
PhD. Unfortunately, this is only available, so far, as a manual for therapists.
The Explosive Childby Ross Greene PhD, 2001, Quill Press, paperback,
$14.00
A good book helping parents understand and better parent youth who have
biologically based difficult temperaments.
Overcoming Dyslexiaby Sally Shaywitz MD, 2003, Knopf Publisher, paperback,
$15.95
The book to read to learn how reading, writing, and comprehension really work in
the brain and more importantly how to help your child overcome dyslexia.
ADD-Friendly Ways To Organize Your Lifeby Judith Kolberg and Kathleen
Nadeau PhD, 2002, Brunner-Routledge, paperback, $21.95
Does what the title says - for adults.
Teaching Your Child The Language of Social Success ,by Drs. Duke and
Nowicki, 1996, Peachtree Press, paperback, $14.95
This book gives concrete teaching examples for parents at home and teachers at
school.
It’s So Much Work To Be Your Friendby Richard Lavoie, 2005, Touchstone
Press, hardcover, $25
“Helping the child with learning disabilities find social success.” A well
written book by an expert in helping parents coach youth in social skills.
Feeling Good by David Burns MD, 1999, Avon Press, paperback, $7.99
The classic best self help book teaching how to use cognitive behavioral therapy
techniques to combat especially depression but also anxiety.
Codependent No Moreby Melody Beattie, 1992, Hazelden Press, paperback,
$15.95
This classic provides self help unearthing and changing behavior and emotional
patterns learned in dysfunctional familes especially those affected by alcohol
or drug abuse.
Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz MD, Regan Books, paperback, $12.50
One of several books targeting various Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD) via
cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques.